The first and last date...

Hello everyone,  I am here, umm don't know how to introduce myself or... wait! maybe I am a little scared to start today's topic  I have just finished watching a Netflix movie called 'love hard' it's about finding the one epic perfect love but ultimately it turns to the realization that, it's not the love which is perfect but the two imperfect people understand each other and make it perfect.

 okay, you all must be thinking, that is it a review blog? I know that I am sounding like that but it's not, it's a good movie though.  today I am here to write about the imperfect/disaster dates. okay, I will be honest, I got this "disaster dates" writing idea from that movie only, but this is what movies are supposed to do right, to inspire and motivate people. 

so here I am inspired and motivated.  I am 24 and I have been on multiple dates. It was pretty good though, okay honestly some of those dates were good, some were setbacks and others were complete disasters so the average dating experience of mine was a disaster.

It all started in high school, I was the only person in the group who haven't been on any date or never been in any relationship so I wanted to experience and to know how to be in love feels like but  I was okay, not desperate my friends were actually great they never mocked me for this, they just always keep sharing there boyfriends stuff with me all the time. yes, they were bitches. and I was... never mind.

Mohammad Faizan Ali sent you a friend request. this notification popped up, and I clicked and checked out his account he had a profile picture with duke(motorcycle) the picture looked good, well I admit he looked great, actually hot though. I accepted the request and our conversation started, we talked for a week I remember but after that, I kind of sensed that he was getting a little weird I mean he was a loner, doesn't have friends, and umm talking to a girl for the first time. and now the weird part is, it had just been a week and he was already thinking about marriage, he told me he was in love with me and also cried for me. and we haven't met till now.

see I didn't know anything about dating or talking to a guy with a different intention or like a relationship so the things that he was telling me were scary if those were the topics to discuss in a dating period then I am not into this I will be happily single, I told to myself. 

I discussed this with my girlfriends I have two bitches who have a great perfect relationship and I am jealous sometimes but they were also the lifeline, my savior, my distraction, in short, our lives revolve around each other. 

what the heck?

 block him right now dude.

He is a creep.

These were their reactions when I told them about Faizan.

The next day I left a polite-sounding rejection text. I tried my best not to sound rude and don't want to hurt him. so I started with :

Dear Faizan, it's been great talking to you, I really enjoyed your company and I truly respect your feelings, but I don't feel the same way for you, I hope you understand. we can be friends instead. I think we can be a great team and I am really good with friendships so think about it. and it was great knowing you.

 no hard feelings with a smiley emoji.

sent!

After 5 seconds he replied. just after 5 seconds,... look here is the thing, we girls love quick replies but only from the person whom we like or want to know more but quick replies from someone from whom we want to maintain distance is really annoying, and it's the major turn-off.

so he replied, can we talk over call and I said no, he replied: 'please' last time.

 fuck, why you are so emotional Radhika I don't want to get trapped in his emotional victim lover play card but my fucking heart is an idiot, I wanted to say 'no' but instead, I said 'yes.

I hadn't given him my phone number so he called me on messenger, his picture flashed on my screen I have been already freaking out, I picked up the call and I heard some weird sound, it took me some time to realize that it was a sobbing sound, he was crying and I didn't know how to react.

he kept telling me how he felt about me and how much I meant to him and he can't live without me.

I was like dude it's been just a week, I couldn't figure out what I am supposed to do, he was acting like I did some major bad things to him as if I betrayed him. also I felt bad for him at that moment but faking feelings is also not right so I became the bad person in his story.

before hanging the call he asked me for a first and the last date,, is that even a thing? okay, he said he just wanted to meet me and see me and he is ready for the friendship,' let's meet'.  he said.

we met next weekend in a restaurant called 'open house '  sitting there and thinking why I am here was the thing which I did the whole time. my class got over early so I reached first.  

after some time I find myself enjoying the ambiance, I was observing people, many came with their gangs, some were cute couples and some were fighting at the corner table, my eyes got stuck to the bar counter, and I saw a lady sitting alone. well dressed, elegant, in her late 40s I guess. but she looked well maintained but drinking in a daytime caught my attention to her.

I didn't know what was her story but it seemed like she was lonely, had a rich husband who doesn't give her time, had no real friends, and had children not in town. I got lost in my thoughts and suddenly I heard a voice hey, I was back in reality, I looked up and I saw Faizan. I looked towards the lady and she paid her bill and was going towards the exit door,

how have you been?

Faizan asked

'I am good' I replied.

it's such a great meeting you, your picture doesn't do justice, you are more beautiful in real life. he said.

is it a movie line? I wanted to ask but instead, I said Thank you with a plain smile.

he was talking to me, trying to impress me with all the fancy words and phrases, I appreciated his efforts but my mind was only thinking about that bar counter lady, who was she? what was her story? had she ever been in love? or got betrayed? 

what was it like to be in love? 

I looked at Faizan and ask this question, he was surprised by my sudden question. he was looking at me, trying to phrase the sentence in his mind or maybe remembering some movie dialogue, I guess 

I didn't know why I asked him that question, and I was also not expecting any specific answer. maybe I wanted his reaction or his point of view about love.

I may not know love, but at least two people must be in the same phase in life to move together in love.

wow! this is surprising, nobody has ever asked me this question, he continues...

so love is ... a great feeling, where two people do great things together, buy each other stuff, miss each other, care for each other, make memories, and want to live happily forever.  umm, yaa this is what I called love. cool na, I love you Radhika please understand I'll keep you happy.  he ended.

I didn't know whether he was right or wrong, but one thing I definitely know is, he is not right for me.

every sentence he says is only to convince me to love him, this is not love, this can't be, love is supposed to be effortless,  something where you want to listen to the other person, he never asked what I feel about love, or how I want things to be.  at that moment, I knew that this was anything but love.

I listen to him for at least 45 minutes and after that, I said okay now I should leave it was nice meeting you.

okay, take care and one last thing I wanna say after that you can let me know your decision. he said.

at that moment for the first time he was asking for my decision, my opinion, I looked into his eyes and the glimpse of love did reflect at that very second, my heart stopped I was happy I guess, maybe he was not like that, what I portrayed him in my mind, maybe he is good, I told him softly, go ahead (with a spark of hope in my eyes.)

honestly, I wanted to hear something magical or something... I don't know but something nice.

and he started, Radhika, you are the most beautiful person I have ever met, I don't want to lose you I will keep you happy, please be mine and he kissed me on my forehead.

my heart was crushed. the color of my face got pale, and the hope vanished. that's it, that all he wanted to say? that be mine? I will make you happy? I will do this and that, it's like he was some salesperson who was talking about his services.

I shook my head, smiled and got into my uber, and left. 

Mohammad Faizan Ali: blocked 

That was a really heartbreaking/ bad/disastrous date for a person like Radhika who wanted true love.

tell us in the comment section below, have you ever been on dates,, and if yes, did you find your perfect match, or did it turn into a disaster?

also if you like this story, do subscribe to this blog for more such perfect/imperfect date stories.