IS IT LOVE OR OBSESSION?

Dear girls,

Today I am here to talk about something really silly yet serious, I have gone through something really weird in the past and I ignored but yesterday I had that same experience again, and then I thought what is exactly happening? where these girls come from? and if it's happening with me than I am quite sure that others too might have gone through this.

 But first  I wanna ask how many of you get messages on social media regarding your friends or boyfriend that 'stay away from him' or 'you have come between us' or 'he is cheating on me because of you' and bla bla, tell me in the comment section below.

My story,

Yesterday I got a text from an anonymous girl on Instagram I don't wanna take the name but I  am assuming she might be 20-21 years old. she asked me about one of my male friends whom I have been talking for quite some time so she query, that I know him or not but  I denied because I don't wanna entertain any random person and I can sense a sort of interrogation in her text so I refused because it was none of her business whom I talk to or not. then she said that she was his ex-girlfriend and she is assuming that if I am the new girl in his life and I find it so weird I wanted to ask her many questions but I didn't instead I asked my friend and he denied.he said, she was just his friend there is nothing more than that and I trust him and also he has no reasons to lie to me and that's what friendship means right to trust each other so I told him everything and shared the screenshots so that he exactly knows what the girl was talking about. so the moment he heard everything he might have called her and then after a few hours that girl bombard her texts again with pathetic allegations on me that... I stole his guys, I am a slut and my kind of girl only breaks home and bla bla.

I was like what?? I had no idea what she was talking about. 

I first laughed like hell and then she started putting allegations on the guy like 'he will also do the same thing with you, what he has done to me' just wait and watch and then I thought that she was his friend for so many years and she also claims that she likes him and cares for him then how could she even say such harsh words for him to other people.

And This is not the first time I have encountered such a thing. It happened with me earlier also but that time I Ignored because firstly I was shocked that how could a girl use such words for another girl and also I felt bad that I haven't done anything than why anybody would say such things to me it takes a hell lot of time to get over it. but this time I  thought this is not something to Ignore Its serious, young girls I mean what the heck you girls are doing, where this is coming from and the funny thing is you are saying its true love and that's why you have been hurt this much and that's what makes you do such awful things seriously?

I mean you are harassing someone, forcefully want people to be in your life. how could anyone do such things to the person they love?

 It's really love or obsession?

see I totally understand that when its come to relationship every girl wants someone ready for commitment, who is loyal, fun, caring and most importantly someone who is always there with you, who understands you, with whom you can feel like home but how do you know that what you are feeling is love or obsession? maybe you just want that person to be around because you are afraid of being alone, Do you think its fair?

If the other person is not feeling the same for you? , If he doesn't want anything rather than friendship then why It becomes a misery for you and than you start blaming guys and say that boys are bad, all men are a jerk, all this kind of statements and blabbering that you are hurt by something which never existed, what's going in your head was just a false expectation created by you. If the other person is not feeling the same way you are feeling than how could it be his fault?

 people actually got confused about love and obsession.according to  Dr. B. Borg, Jr,. Ph.D. D., a clinical psychologist and author of Relationship Sanity " most of us start our relationship in a heightened state of insecurity and anxiety." so when we don't see the same actions what we are doing in a relationship from our partner. we become Insecure which leads to possessiveness(remember there is a difference between love and possession. here I am talking about possession) and develops anxiety. that is when you have to understand that what your partner has, Is obsession, not love. 

In a real relationship where love exists, there is trust and no anxiety, both the partners understand each other and they don't hesitate to express their feelings and thoughts there is no constant fear of losing each other or if that happens also they let it go. they don't accuse their partners or talk rubbish about them.

 so what I want to say girls don't do this, I totally get it that you really like the guy, he is great you love his company and you developed feelings for him but when he says you clearly that he doesn't have any special feelings for you then don't blame him for the things which never existed. at least from his side and also stop texting other girls whom you think that your guy is talking to. and think before you text or tell any harsh words to someone without knowing anything, the other girl might be going through some other shits in life she doesn't owe you any explanation. by doing this you put yourself down, you are harming yourself. this might make you feel good to blame others for your shit but this is not gonna help in the long term.

Don't go to his other female friends he might be liking and stop complaining or talking about him.

guys have feelings too and by doing this you have no idea how much you are affecting the other person because he never had bad intentions for you what he did for you, it might be for friendship what friends do for each other. don't ruin that, don't make the other person feel ashamed about himself which you claim to care about. 

 and If your things are true, If he really cheated on you then also you shouldn't do this.because you just disrespecting yourself, you are not worthy of this. you cannot hold a person in your life forcefully, let him go, don't do this to yourself and your life. If somebody has done wrong things to you than that person doesn't deserve you. getting back him in your life after everything he has done is the worst thing you could ever do to yourself.

also If you believe that things can be better between two of you or you want him back than talk to him personally instead of doing drama in front of other people or cursing other girls. please (because you are just making fool of yourself by doing this.)

we have only one life and don't make it a blame game, I know It hurts I totally get It but doing crazy stuff and blaming others will not let you to anywhere. stop begging or thinking that you can force someone to love you.

 love is a beautiful thing in the world, don't make it ugly. live your life and(let others live there) make it the best one and be with someone who equally wants to be with you.

And The most important thing girls - "No Girl can Steal your Guy Until and Unless He allows her".

So stop wasting your time in stalking and going crazy and start utilizing your energy to do something constructive because trust me nobody cares so stop fooling around and If you feel that it's a sever problem and you are not able to deal with the situation, then start talking to people around you or consult a counselor or therapist but just don't try to manipulate the other person because you might don't know what the other person is going through. what that guy is going through who never had any wrong intentions for you but only care and true friendship. stop making someone feel guilty for the crime, he never commits.

"men have feelings too, stop emotional blackmailing them".